4:04 p.m. | 2003-11-16
Paragraph By Paragraph; Thought by Thought
Word of the Day for Sunday November 16, 2003
bifurcate BY-fur-kayt; by-FUR-kayt, transitive verb:
To divide into two branches or parts.
Just a mid-day update. I've been thinking a lot lately, and it's starting to hurt, ugh. I was talking to a good friend of mine and we were talking about the general "hopeless" nature of marriage, and I told him that I disagreed, because I still have this strange faith in it. Well I ended up delving into my reasons for being upset over the divorce. Lots came out surprisingly. I like how I call it THE divorce. Le Divorce...was, um, it wasn't hard by any means, but I still think I blame myself, even though it's not a huge burden. I was too young to see the reasons they would divorce, I was too nieve. And that's cool, I can understand that, but it means the only reasons I know are because of me.
Oh by the way, if you haven't noticed-Fuck the November Novel. Sure I have time, but I sure as hell DO NOT have the stamina to do it. Another month, another month, because as of today I should have 27,200 words written, I think I have about 5,000. Oh...well.
This entry is rather scattered, I'll give you that, but I just have a small complaint to make towards the diaryland staff. I'm really happy to pay for your service, yay, but...I submit my banners one day at noon and by the next day around 8pm they're ready to run. And then I get cracky click throughs, and I just get upset and it's frustrating. Ok, ranting session over.
One thing I love about living in Boston--clam chowder. It's not quite as available as I'd like, but it is available.
Living with new people is stressfull. I'm actually happy that my roomates and I had a little conflict early. Because Jen and Kelsey next door have been slowly getting sooooo annoyed with each other it's not even funny.
I don't like not being able to type things in here. It frustrates me. There are certain people that read this, which is totally cool, but...I just don't want to hurt them by saying certain things, ya know?
Speaking of...Colin, Jamie and I talked in the hall last night. Also known as this morning. But we were talking around 3 AM and Colin and I had been talking online about him and Ramon (a friend of his) and rather abruptly he's like, I'll just come down there. So he came down and we talked and it wasn't like one of those 'I need to talk things' we just kinda had a conversation. Again, Jamie backed off. We talked about life, and being here, and stuff like that. At one point he said something along the lines of "I haven't met anyone here that I want to have a lasting relationship with." I tried rather hard not to be upset, but I was, I mean I thought maybe I meant something to him, and plus, he's one of the people here (along with the Jamester) that I'm going to refuse to let go of. I tried not to be upset, and I think I only came off as half upset, but then he came in with this comment of "you, of all people, are someone that I really don't want to lose when I leave." I stopped right in my tracks, I felt so bad, Jamie was right there, she knew him first and now he's saying shit like this? Ugh.
It's frustrating when people do that, so Colin and I are in our witty banter stage where we'll talk back and forth for 3 days randomly about things, and then it'll digress and he'll go away for a while, and then later he'll come back again for another 4 day circle. Hmm.
Signing Off--Lauren
This is...hi-fucking-larious...yay!
