4:46 p.m. | 2003-09-16
Daily class load starts, and thus begins insanity
I think I'm too busy for all this. My room is hectic. I'm hectic. Things are hectic.
I miss Gabe
Gabe was hanging out with Connie at the end of the summer.
I slept with Gabe.
Gabe likes Connie.
I'm not obsessed with Gabe anymore, I just, I want a boy to like me, he did, therefore I want someone like him.
It seems boys don't like me. Sometimes I think I deserve to be liked, then I don't. Either way, there's very little man meat here that isn't claimed. And whatever made me think I had more of a chance to get some here than in Colorado, was an insane thought.
I'm homesick for my friends, and companionship, and people that know and like me. I miss Will, and Nat, and David, and Jessa, and and...I just miss them.
It's not that I'm not having fun here, it's just, ugh. There is this boy though, not that I'm interested, but he's sweet in a 'I'd like to help him' kind of way. He's kind of, and I don't mean this to be mean, but he's smart, and just kind of a nerd. I guess he's an introvert and never got put in the right situation with the right people to develop social skills. So this other girl, Lauren, and I have been hanging out with him. She has a boyfriend at BU, who she has been dating for 3 years. She was flirting with this other kid, Brian. Rather she has been. Anyway, Brian and I have been talking and hanging out and stuff, he's just so anxious to be around people again, and I hope that calms down, quite a bit. Remember how I wanted someone to be with at anytime? He'd be that person. Though, he's a little attached at your hip kinda, and jumpy, and afraid of loosing you and...I'm trying to work on that, as much as I don't want to fix him.
Anyway, things are going, and that's about all I can say. They're going. And my classes aren't bad, in fact I'm kind of enjoying the architecture ones. I like creating like that, and I'm anxious to get going. The history thing will be easy, and so will the music thing, which by the way my prof came up today and she's all, "you're a musician, aren't you?" To this I reply, "well, it's like saying I'm a painter, I'm not, but I just paint, so I'm not a musician, I just like music." She then proceeds to tell me to talk to her, and I will, about making sure the class is fitting my needs. I'm not all jazzed about folk music, but I'm in it to learn the theory, take an easy class. It's all good. Plus if I want to take level two music classes I can. Sounds good.
But other than that, I think I should just buckle down and work. I have so much to do it's not even funny. In fact I might buckle down here for a while until Jamie and I go play on the T. Work on some drawings or transposing notes or something.
Be well, I'll talk more later.
I want a man, can you find me that?
Signing off--Lauren
ps, is anyone actually listening?
