10:44 a.m. | 2007-01-13
Chasing The Ghost of A Good Thing
His eyes opened wide and he smiled.
Things have been good recently (I mean, why make them bad). I've been exhausting myself, thoroughly, by working on the house every second that I'm not at work. Soon school will start and all three activities will be going on at once. Oh joy.
Most rooms in the house are painted (don't worry, I'm taking pictures of before and after so you can know what's going on) and most everything is at least at the house, but not really out of boxes.
The lingering three feet of snow doesn't help, though. I woke up this morning to soft flakes falling. I wanted to close my eyes and let them sit on my eyelashes, melting against the heat of me.
I woke up the other day, perfectly content after only 4 hours, and turned the alarm off. I closed my eyes again and started to day dream about what I'd love to have right now. My perfect room, finally packed away, someone warm next to me who insisted on getting close to me...
I felt his leg brush against mine. I had rolled over to turn off the alarm clock and had released myself from his arms. He pulled me back in and kissed me, squeezing me and smiling.
He doesn't wake up easy so we have many mornings like this, where I'll be awake and staring and he'll be begging me with soft moans and groans to come back to the land of the sleeping.
I feel guilty slipping out of the covers and putting on my gym shoes and watching him fall back asleep as I leave, but I can't help it. Staying in bed with him would be heart wrenching at this point -- and would make me feel like I'm losing all control.
So I'll let him sleep in and every Saturday or so I might spend an extra 30 in bed, but for now I'll keep doing what I love. Being me.