late nights and loud fights
it's all just a blur

1:28 p.m. | 2006-06-14

Months ago I mentioned how I'd been getting these overwhelmed-can't-breathe-can't-see moments where I would come to tears in seconds.

They're back, but this time in a most definite way. This time I can see why I'm having them. I can feel the pit in my stomach coming and I keep seeing things that remind me of them and why I feel them. I can't look at my bed without feeling slightly depressed. I can't smell that shirt until I wash it without thinking about how it smells just like him.

Why am I so tumbled over this? I feel like I can't walk and every second I'm falling down and can't manage to hold my head up.

I'm just so sick of being honest with why I'm alone. Because I'm right. That is why I'm alone and it's getting hard to swallow so much that I think I'll just give up.

Because if I stay in one place too long it makes me cry.

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