late nights and loud fights
it's all just a blur

8:04 a.m. | 2007-03-22
I Can't Tell You What You Mean To Me

Personal restraint has always been a problem of mine.

When I want something -- I want it. And I want it so much that I find a way to get it or at least go lunging in that direction. With that being said this rarely applies to financial applications (where I'm as tight as those old stodgy bankers they make fun of). But when it comes to issues of my heart and the places that I want to go? Oh man I just seem to barrel ahead towards the uncertain future.

Funny for someone who's rather afraid of the unknown.

Can I hold my breath, then, and not contact him every five seconds like I want to? Because I'm so giddy and watching every move I make. I hope I'm not overwhelming him but at the same time letting him know that I'm interested.

Life is just so wicked somedays. I mean don't get me wrong I'm happy, I'm satisfied, but at the same time I'm always yearning for more. I'm stretching and checking my cell phone every five seconds. I'm hoping that he thinks of me throughout the day even a fraction of what I think about him.

And this is all rambling...because if I go into some diatribe about how he's not the only one right now then I'll have too many 'he's' and your head will spin. Mine too most likely.

There's a lot processing right now. And a lot on my plate (please, can I just sleep in sort of one day, something over 5 hours, please). And because of that I'm not fully functional (nor do my words mean much).

Don't worry, I'll delete it later.

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