late nights and loud fights
it's all just a blur

9:10 p.m. | 2005-10-09
All I Wanted Was The Song About Plates

I didn't even notice it but I knew every single word to every single song.

That was always me. Need an answer? Lauren probably knows it. Want to know about a new band? Lauren probably went to the concert. Need a good chicken recipe? Lauren definitely has it.

I've always been the default. The "easy" button if you will.

Problem? I don't know much, I'm not that hip on the music culture, and I have recipes but really you're better off with the internet. What is it that I give off about myself that makes people think that I am the solution to everything?

I spent the weekend away from home, literally, and I hated and loved it all at once. It made me realize how much I wish I had a real reason to be somewhere else. It made me realize how much I would have loved that show if someone had been holding my hand. It made me realize that those tears I get that come to my eyes (completely unannounced) are getting worse and worse and to the point where I almost don't care.

And also that given a chance, I tend to turn it down.

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