late nights and loud fights
it's all just a blur

8:24 a.m. | 2005-07-02
And Maybe, As An Adult, I Wouldn't Lose My Head Every 5 Seconds

I don't want it to be 8:30 am and me be groggy from sleeping in someone else's bed all night.

I want it to be 8:30 and have me in the garage getting the lawn mower out so that I can start some yard work. And I want to put the sprinkler out before it gets hot and come back inside to make breakfast before I hear pitter patter feet coming down the stairs.

I want it to be the start of the day where we gather our swimming gear and walk to the pool, or pack a picnic and drive to the mountains, or just stay at home and play around. I want to sigh as my 15 year old goes on her first date and cringe as my 16 year old takes his car out alone for the first time. Or I just want to be doing things other than this.

Not that this is a bad life, I'm just starting to realize that the life I want is a long way off given the road I'm currently putting myself on. Because I am who I am I will always be happy, but it doesn't stop me from daydreaming about getting up early just to get the day started and kissing someone good morning, and making breakfast and reading the paper.

I'm going to subscribe to the Times today, that way I don't have to keep buying it at work.

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