8:47 p.m. | 2005-06-01
That's So Terribly Emo
I put lemon wedges on my drinks.
I don't particularly like lemon, in fact I like lime a whole lot more, but it's this thing with posterity and me, I need to have something like that. I mean living in the college lifestyle anything but chugging out of the (plastic) handle is considered couth. Try a lemon wedge. It flips people out. Especially when they happen to notice that you don't squeeze it into your drink.
I've been sitting here thinking (the plague of extra time has hit me once again) and I found myself in a couple of conclusions. The main theory of which sounds terribly egotistical.
I'm really quite amazing. Humans in general are pretty pathetic, but as I've come to meet and learn more of them I've realized that I can do a lot. Especially in the relationship sense. Not only do I at least try everything, and hold a camera with grace, and know what to order at a bar, and just stuff...but I've got all these things that people seem to look for. In relationships I'm caring and sweet and tend to be the aggressor (always, because I always seem to want it more) when it comes to sex, and I rarely "act like a girl."
It's frustrating to me, then, to see my two roommates getting plenty of interest and me sitting here, the responsible one who will cook for you, clean up for you and never ever bitch. And I'm alone.
It just doesn't seem reasonable or fair. And it's starting to bug me.
And to allow my self confidence to be torn down by something as worthless as Gabe? Now that I can hold against me...what was I thinking? I think I'm finally seeing what he said he saw in me. And if that's true, if all of these things are real, if I really am that good...where is he?
And if he can't be here, why isn't there a line around the block?
