6:59 p.m. | 2004-12-24
Bah Humbug.
There's a slight red ring around my mouth from the kool-aid I've been drinking. It's Christmas Eve. I never actually made a list. I'm all alone. My room is a bit messy. I don't care anymore.
I remember the days of boredom where I'd have 6 hours just to spare. And now, even though I could be getting things done, the banks are closed and everything else is either slammed or closed. I could clean up my room, but it's pretty close and I'm not in the mood to let my mind get lost to cleaning.
Besides, what would that leave me for tomorrow?
I hate Christmas. I mean there are certain parts I enjoy, like putting time and effort into gifts for example, but for the most part I kind of feel like it's a terrible holiday. I think my family will have a rule that presents between family members (santa may bring the toys) must be hand made. But Christmas ruins a good 2 days of your life. (Not to mention the hours you spend shopping forthings people will return) The 24th is all preparation, getting things bought, wrapped, etc. But if you're on top of things (like me) you've got all that done. So you've got nothing to do. the 25th is exciting until you're 4. Then it loses all enchantment and even though it may be a little hard to sleep you still wake up, open presents and have the rest of the day free.
As disgusting as this is, right now, I just want people here. Not my father who keeps talking to me about strange sentimental personal issues, not my step-mother who I can't really stand to be around. I just wish it was like last night, with the people I like. The ones who are all with their families right now. Eating their meals, laughing their laughs, and in general enjoying themselves.
I only hope my children will have better.
But until then, I suppose it's me cleaning on Christmas eve to sit around on my ass for Christmas day. And there's nothing on tv, either. Damn it.
ps, I hate "It's a Wonderful Life" and I hate that it's shown non-stop. Yeah, merry christmas you old bank and loan.
