11:15 a.m. | 2004-04-22
An Entry To Lonliness
I think we made quite the survey people. For those of you who missed it, feel free to go figure out what we were doing.
So the final tally left us with three comments, two guestbook signings, and well zero notes. But that's cool. What shocked me more than anything is honestly the SECOND I submitted the entry I got an email. "You've got a guestbook signing." Well ain't that spiffy.
They seemed to come flooding in at once.
So, 5. Not a bad response, but I really wanted to more dedicate it to making me think, and as I got more people signing the guestbook I got to think more and more.
First off, my audience is mainly female. This is going to sound stereotypical, but we're generally more lonely. Though, that's only true on the surface. I think women are just much more willing to voice it. I feel men are just as lonely as we are, yearning for someone to understand us, to love us, to kiss us when we get home and smile and ask how our day was.
Women will complain, though.
So I get to thinking about why people are into relationships anyway. They offer us companionship and happiness and just overall niceness. We want to be in one because genetics tells us to (our more carnal selves want babies, or more society driven minds want companionship). So then, why are people alone, or feel lonely?
In theory we live about 80 years. We are considered "growing" for about 18 of those. We don't even really get to start thinking of companionship until 15 or so. On top of this, I don't believe in "the one" but I do believe we have best matches. I think that people will match you 85%, 90% or even that crazy 99%. So, just by logistics, you could see how incredibly difficult (in a world laden with 3%ers) how you would never come across someone special for a while.
Then comes the American society part. I realized the other day whenever I refer to human society it's rarely to us as a whole, but normally only about American. So, our society has this great way of making us feel not worthy. Somehow it got into our heads that we need to have this facade that makes us seem happy and confident, but on the inside the majority of us are just cowering and hoping no one notices that we think we're worthless.
Why is it that confidence is in such short supply? Why does everyone feel, "not good enough." It reminds me of when we used to analyze ads in beauty magazines. I think perhaps it's the advancement of society, but the lack of advancement within man. We advance technologically, I can now suck 6 pounds of fat out of your ass and you'll be able to walk within a week. Our minds, though, are still complete cave-men. The interaction of the two is deadly. I doubt cave-men cried in the corner because they had stared in the mirror too long and became disgusted with themselves.
Somewhere something went wrong.
It's so interesting. I watch the prettiest girls in the world sit there and complain because they aren't as pretty as they could be. I don't think cave-men had brushed. I watch as they feel worthless and tear themselves apart. I'm pretty sure cave-men didn't self loathe. Why do we do this to ourselves? And I say that because it is us doing it to ourselves. We can't blame anyone else. We have admirable qualities, all of us.
As much as I hate myself, I know people have loved me before. And if someone had loved me and had wanted to be with me, then there has to be something there, right? I know there is. I have worthy qualities no matter how many negative ones are there.
So, in diagramming loneliness we found out that, there's no need for it, honestly. It's the simple fact that we can't be happy with ourselves that blocks us from being happy with others.
Sounds like something a bad shrink would say, doesn't it.
