2:42 p.m. | 2004-04-08
God Thinking Makes Me Feel So Good
We all lead mediocre lives. I'm not sure if you are aware of that--but everything we do is just a grand illusion of what we wish we were doing.
I don't have the best grades. I don't play the best part. I don't honestly deserve any recognition. My poetry is horrid, my photography mediocre and I can't say anything cool like: "well this one summer I was a stage tech for a band."
I'm a freshman college student. One who pulled out of a major because it wasn't right for her. Because hard work at something you don't love is never going to be enjoyable. And now I can say I've...um. Well at home we...
Really, honestly, what have I done that isn't just mediocre?
This got me to thinking. Ok, well I haven't led the most exciting life. I haven't taken all my chances and there are few things I can say that are just kinda cool that I did. I once just left Boston to take a $10 Chinese bus from Boston Chinatown to New York Chinatown. Does that mean anything?
In High School I was completely over-involved, and sure that lead to unique things but nothing that people would go "cool!" to. I mean, yay, yearbook editor. Mean anything? No.
But then again, this got me thinking. My friends from High School, can they say anything cool like that? Andy was All American Lacrosse. They went to good schools and all. Stanford, Northwestern, MIT, Harvard, Yale, Dartmouth, Cornell, you name it. Yay?
There's few people I know who have really done incredible things with their lives. Not that they're not cool people. They just haven't had time to.
I don't doubt that most of them ('cause I generally surround myself with good people) will go far and do amazing things. But some, and sadly most, of us are headed for very mediocre lives.
How many jobs out there are "exciting"? Who actually WANTS to be a bank teller. The number is few, that much I can assure. How many people get thrown into jobs they don't want? Hotel staff? Fast food worker? Construction worker? Shoe salesman? Dental Hygienists? Yes. Some people love those jobs, but how many of them? How many didn't I mention?
This isn't bad. This sounds depressing, I know, but I turn it a little--the way I look at it, I realize this. So next time I have the chance to do something ultra cool? I'll do it.
Go to that concert? Why not. Just do it. You might meet the drummer and you might get to kiss him. Maybe that one guy at the library you talked to for hours will put you in his book some day. Who knows.
God I love that feeling. Carpe diem kids, seize that fucking day.
Signing off--Lauren
