5:37 p.m. | 2003-12-25
Just Another Day
Word of the Day for Thursday December 25, 2003
benefaction BEN-uh-fak-shuhn; ben-uh-FAK-shuhn, noun:
1. The act of conferring a benefit.
2. A benefit conferred; especially, a charitable donation.
So Christmas...um. Yeah. I don't want to crap on everyone's parades because when I grow up and I have children--their Christmas experiences will be good. There will be traditions. Traditions other than getting drunk enough just to make it through the day. We will have a fun tree, the kids wanna string popcorn? Go for it! They wanna melt lifesavers and then shape them? Why the hell not. It's your tree, and if it makes you happy, it will make you happy. There is one more thing that I'd work on...
See, my gift-giving nature is generally pretty good. It takes me a long time to think of what I want, but one I have it in my mind then we're safe. My family though? I can give them the PACKAGE to the item I want and they still wouldn't get it right. I gave them an address to the website so that my Grandmother could buy my CD's as 'used.' I got new CD's. At 15x the cost. I'm not sure how to respond to this crap. Though, I must admit I'm a bit happier than last year. Here's why:
Neon Flamingo-$19.99 (the tags are still on all the items, because that's how my family does things)
Indiana Jones DVD Set-$50.00
Little T and One Track Mike CD-$15
Ben Kweller CD-$15
Vu-Vu (cordless vacuum)-$40
Black chenille gloves-$12
I can count. And that makes up to be $152 of...nothing. Now I'm not one to complain, but EVERY year I write on my list "please...money. That's all I want, I can use it for money, including FOOD." I tried to explain it. I really really tried to. I just want money. It's simple, it's easy. And they all say 'no, Lauren, you won't have anything to open!' I don't care! I don't want anything to open! I'm fine! No. $152 worth of that. First of all--gloves? Oh god, of all things, gloves? Why? Even more random--the Indiana Jones boxed DVD set. Why? I mean, sure Indiana Jones is cool and all but...um...I didn't ask for DVD's. In fact, I asked for better DVD's than that, but why did you randomly pick this one?
I'm not sure how to handle myself. But the ONE thing that I want, money, was the one thing I didn't get. Holy shit. I don't give a crap, why do I need a cordless vacuum? I mean a VACUUM?! Oy, $40 worth of a vacuum. Shit. I'm all angry now. And that's crap. Either get me nothing, or get me something that's worth it. Now I have a neon flamingo. It's horrid, what am I gonna do with a neon flamingo? Oy. But this year was no where near as bad as last year. Last year they decided that I needed pajama pants.
I got 12, count them, 12 pairs of pajama pants.
I don't wear pajama pants. I hate them. If I had a choice, I'd never ever ever wear them. I own like 17 pairs now. Oh my god, what am I gonna do. Now they're yelling at me. "Where's Lauren?" "Oh, she's on the computer e-mailing her 12 million friends." "That girl, I tell ya, if she doesn't get on that computer every day she..." At this point I got upset, I told my mother, who nicely said that last comment, that I found it offensive. I apologize that you people are all such terrible humans that I have to drink to keep from yelling at you, or that I have to fight back tears ALL day long because these people make me so depressed I can't stand it.
I don't know what to do. I want to cry, right here and right now. My uncle was throwing things at me today, funny sure, but it just got to me, a lot. I almost lost it, almost. Thank god when I lost it last year I happened to be laughing at this scary dead cat in a basket that my cousin got for me. It's sad when I have to cover up that kind of stuff.
Now, I'm not one to complain a ton. It's not like I expected a lot, but holy shit, I'm finally old enough to realize how much this sucks. It really just isn't fair. And at that I'll leave it. I tell you I'm completely done with that. I'm gonna feel as special as I want. And my Aunt and my family WILL NOT patronize me for acting "better than them." I've never done it before, and I won't act it now, but shit, I'll feel how I want to feel.
Signing Off--Lauren
