11:39 a.m. | 2003-12-08
I--Am Worth It
Word of the Day for Monday December 8, 2003
otiose OH-shee-ohs; OH-tee-, adjective:
1. Ineffective; futile.
2. Being at leisure; lazy; indolent; idle.
3. Of no use.
Last Christmas
I gave you my heart
But the very next day
You gave it away
This year,
To save me from tears,
I'll give it to someone special
Once bitten,
Twice shy,
I keep my distance
But you still catch my eye
Tell me baby
Do you recognize me?
Well it's been a year
That doesn't surprise me
I forgot how much I liked that song, it just...I don't know, he sings so well. I kinda wanna go and get that CD again. For all of you who are SO out of the loop, it's Dexter Freebish. His voice is a lot better than I remember it. None the less, onto the real update.
Ha! I fooled you, actually, I just wanted to claim this space, I'll be putting an entry in later, after I study like a mofo. Because I have a lot to do, remember the other day?
--On a side note now that I'm sitting at the library and not researching (hey, I made it here, that's progress enough): The things that D-Land does are pretty cool, I mean, I have to give them some major props. I really wish I could actually do something like this, if only I had the time and the talent, ya know?
But none the less I felt like a little self indulgence. The snow outside is beautiful, I took some pictures the other day, so I'll be posting those on Fotoki soon, and you'll be able to see them, yay, either that or maybe I'll get all technical, figure out how to make "thumbnails," post those and then link them to where the originals are here on D-land. I know how to link pictures, ironically my problem lies in making them small, none the less, I think I could do it. Mark it as number one on the to-do list. Strike that, mark it as number 2, number 1 is Chex Muddy Buddies.
Have you ever wanted a seperate life, or even lived one? One completely seperate from everything, I mean you're still there, but your personality is different, and you treat people differently, and things just...aren't the same? It gives you this new found confidence, but you're still you, it's like, if you fail it's ok because you always have that other life you were busy leading.
I like that thought--strangely a lot. But that's cool, I don't really have too much to think on it right now, just--perhaps I have one. I know I had one. And you know what? I didn't feel bad about leading it, I felt that it was completely acceptable, because I was still me. There's a certain point where it starts to hurt though, and that's not acceptable. Or when you stop being yourself (or the person you generally are, since we are nothing). None the less (see the new phrase I've taken to using today?) that's all I have to say on the issue.
I had the sweetest dream last night, by the way. Before I went to bed I had been talking to Laura about Gabe and the like...and I went to sleep holding a pillow (something I had stopped but I'm back to doing again) and I had this great dream where all I did was sit there and lay with him. Don't get me wrong people, I'm not really attached to him anymore, but I do enjoy his company. And he was the last person who I've done that with, and I enjoy that.
On the other hand, I'm happy I'm not going home for Christmas, I love those people and all but--I just can't handle that any more. I mean I can, I just can't deal with Daniel too soon, and when I'm home for a set amount of time I feel as if I need to get my time in with people now, 'cause it's running out. But this summer I'll be much more lax and laid back. And that's good for me I think.
More thoughts on the inside, though not enough time to share...so I'll be back later, perhaps
Signing Off--Lauren
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