9:12 p.m. | 2003-11-21
I'm Leaving On A Jet Plane At 3AM
Word of the Day for Friday November 21, 2003
Argus-eyed AR-guhs-ide, adjective:
Extremely observant; watchful; sharp-sighted.
Chances are I won't be updating too much in the next week, that could be the completely opposite of the truth, but I don't know at this point. My days are rather booked, but y'all know I don't sleep much in Colorado, so it might stay the same.
I haven't really mentioned it, but I'm headed to Colorado for the week of thanksgiving, so don't go thinking I've disappeared, I don't want another fiasco like August. Holy crizap. I ended up with like 15 e-mails of people hoping I wasn't dead. I had just gotten distracted, lordie. But--I'm warning you this time, so nothing like that again.
I had...an interesting day, there's been a lot said to me that--I haven't quite deciphered yet, and some I'm not sure if I'm comfortable talking about it here. In fact, I know I'm not.
I feel disconnected, if you couldn't tell, I mean I'm excited, I mean SO excited to see my friends, but I just, things have happened here that have just made me think like no other. Made me realize things about myself. About my surroundings. But they're not providing answers to the questions I have, just adding more unimportant questions.
That in and of itself isn't a huge deal, I don't mind not knowing, just, someone said something to me today. He said that he was really interested in another girl. Now granted I probably have no chance with this guy, and we're just friends, he was talking about this other girl, and I just...it hurt when he said that. He says such sweet things it makes me think he likes me, but then I realize...that he doesn't. And that's fine, just not this back and forth bullshit in my head. And in fact, this epiphane just happened now, I hadn't even thought about what he said to me until just now. Huh.
In an effort to assemble myself into one person I'm taking small steps to understanding, looking around me and taking notes. I'm doing my best, and that's all I can ask.
If I don't update, I love you all, you rock my casbah--and I hope your Thanksgiving days (or regular weeks) are just fine.
Signing Off--Lauren
