late nights and loud fights
it's all just a blur

7:15 p.m. | 2003-10-05
Catching Up And Pumpkin Pie

"There will be a talk about eating disorders tomorrow at 7 in the tv lounge; pizza, ice cream, and soda will be served."

I'm not quite sure why that's funny. But I heard it and I completely busted out laughing. I had my door closed, and I heard the nightly announcement, and they went on talking, and that was at the very end. I just...people...lordie.

Life's great some days. I tell ya. Yesterday Connie came to visit me, which was absolutely amazing. It was so nice just to have someone here who remembers me, who knows my history and who can follow me when I talk. And in that manner, I can talk to her. I was getting along just fine, but it was still nice to get, ya know? Then she handed me this bag from Jessa, who completely rocks my world, thank you Jess! It had the cutest things in it, and with every little thing was a note that explained what it was. It was so cute and so her, and I even made a friend with the dart gun like she said. But it was so great. So Connie and I went shopping and went to all the sights in Boston I could fit in, and even got a great view of the Charles, it was nice.

So, then came last night...which was also nice, I just chilled all evening, and then it came time to go out and Jamie and I stayed in and hung out with Darren and the likes, and we played around with his guitar, sang a bit and just joked around. It was great fun. I didn't get to bed until about 4, but that's normal with me anyway. But before I went to bed I got a really nice goodnight from Ian, mostly because I made him hot-pockets...Which is nice, because it brings a smile to my face to see others happy. So I went to bed after that, woke up after a few hours of sleep and went to the art store.

There I spent $70 on plaster, plexi, and basswood. How strange. But I started making the model, which I'm still working on, and it totally kicks ass. It looks so cool, it's a plexiglass pyramid, designed to be 5 inches tall, then cut off an inch and to cover up that square hole there's a wood triangle that's the same proportion as the painting I was basing this off of. From there I'm going to make some plaster towers in different colors and heights (because of the depth of the painting) and they're going to rest on the wood. It'll look nice. And this is only a study model. Heh. But this is the kind of work he expects, so I'm ok with that. Completely ok with that in fact.

There's been a lot of thought in my mind recently about what I want and don't want in life. I spent all day Saturday with Connie, who, I'm not sure if I mentioned this or not, but has a thing with Gabe right now. Like a real thing. Like they haven't even kissed yet, real. He likes her. He actually does, which is really rather annoying. I ask him what he thinks of me he says attractive, beautiful, close, and friend. But Connie is what he wants. Whatever, there's no anger there, and it's still annoying that I don't actually want him. I just don't understand why he doesn't want me. It's frustrating.

So, I have yet to put a finger on that, and I've written the new section onto the story about Gabe, which to the readers, if you've been reading, you have to understand I changed some of the details...I didn't lose my virginity to Gabe, heh, lordie no. I just, I couldn't find mostivation or a counter point there, and it just seemed to feel right. Like she still was giving herself away in a sort of sense. Other than that it's the same link of events. Lordie this gets confusing. But I like how I have it now, been re-reading it and almost made me cry the other night, genius.

Actually, I went to grab my computer from my room last night and thank god they had locked the top lock but my roomate, Kristin, and her, um, beau, kind of, Steve were definitely going at it. Joy. At least I didn't see anything, but I felt horrid for interrupting them. Like terrible. Oh well.

I've started to get that dreaded accent, I said "dinna" today instead of "dinner." It was terrible, I don't know what to do with myself, I'm slipping.

Other than that, I have this strange urge to...be with someone. Of course it's the stupid thing we all have, but I'd just like to point it out right now, I WANT ONE. Ugh, boys. Anyway, I should finish that model, keep looking for a cleaner diary template though, kimbarley is being so great as to work on it, and like I mentioned last time hopefully I can give something to her in return and/or learn a little extra HTML stuff! That'd be so exciting...maybe I'd actually like computers for once, woo hoo. Hope that works out though. All of you guys be well out there, smiles and all.

Signing Off--Lauren

also, please note the lack of pumpkin pie

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