1:50 a.m. | 2003-08-01
Afterthoughts, though this time he left a good taste in my mouth
I didn't do anything. I swear. In fact, when he put his hand on my stomach the first time, I said no, the second time I said, I'm not joking, and the third time I moved it off. Good thing my original intent backfired. At first I had wanted him to keep doing it, to pressure, but he didn't, because I said no, and I guess it worked out for me in the long run, it's the best thing, right?
So we got a pizza, went to City Park, decided not to, went up to this great little place that overlooks the city, not like the one I normally go to where cars drive by a lot, but this one was a nice overlook, no cars, no nothing.
I wasn't scared. And that made me smile, ya know? So we sat outside, and we talked, and we ate pizza, well he ate pizza, I only had a peice. And then it started to rain, and he's all "you know, if we get wet, then we'll get the car wet when we get in." But, it's leather, it dries too, whatever. We got in and we talked, and he layed against me once, well twice, but he pulled away, and that was ok. I like being with him, and now that I know I can have that type of relationship with him, I'm going to keep it that way. Well, not keep the relationship that way, but keep that in my mind, know that we're ok being platonic, and that he doesn't like me.
I think it's a step, and I won't obsess about it tomorrow, I can promise you that; my work thoughts will not be filled with him.
Oh, and I've been punk lately, I mean dressing in black, wearing heavy eye makeup (Lauren rarely wears anything but mascara) and these kick ass glasses I got. I like the punk look, I feel pretty, and indignant, plus black is really slimming. MMM. Anyway, have a nummy night, Gabe, I would have liked a goodnight kiss, but a hug sufficed.
Signing off--Lauren
