12:02 a.m. | 2003-07-26
Part Two, but not really a connection
I guess it's technically tomorrow, and I'm not gonna fudge the time either. I went to Nat's today, to a kind of crappy going away party that wasn't really a party for a guest that really wasn't there. It was entertaining. I left Nat and his girlfriend, did I mention he had a girlfriend? Oops on my part. Anyway, I was sitting there around all these good kids, I mean Matt and Aly have never done anything. Eason and Meghan have done little, Mark's a little goodie two shoes who might not even have ever been with a girl. Though he's HOT HOT HOT. And so sweet. Anyway, so I'm sitting in this room of good kids, who don't party, and don't play, and all I want to do is go get wasted. Completely and utterly blasted.
It's not healthy of me, but it sounds like fun, all this talk of adulthood, I want to live the life most kids do in high school of parties and hanging out. I was an IB kid, what can I say, I didn't really party.
I want to now, though. I want to go get wasted and just, I don't know, experiment, giggle, have fun, act silly, feel sexy. I want to grow up to be a little kid. I want to make stupid decisions, I want to be leaned over a toilet puking at all hours. I want to get out there.
I feel just, ugh, I wanted to come on here and though I had a strong will not to call Gabe, I was going to say ABSOLUTELY if he was on, and maybe suggest IHOP again. I could have gone for a kiss tonight, something that just says, Lauren's wanted. Oh well, I have to support myself in that, right? Right. Anyway, sleep well world, don't get too wasted without me...
Signing Off--Lauren
