11:08 p.m. | 2003-07-22
Doubles and lack of sex suck
I think I pinned it down, I'm ok with changing my name just so Gabe can see it makes sense. The only place I can ever hope of seeing him is on here. He wouldn't call me, and I've given up on calling him, so I think if I'm desperate on here it's not as bad.
I worked a double today, and now I have my feet in my massager, but, it's frothing and now it's kinda bubbling over. Damn.
But so, yeah, I'm tired and my feet are feeling better, the problem is I can't seem to get my mind off Gabe. I want to let go, I really do, but everytime I do I think about the nice things we had. Maybe I'll e-mail him about dinner or something. I don't know, that'd be weird or desperate again.
Now he signs on, I look over in the little corner to see that, man that helps a LOT. Can I shoot myself now? Can I just get it over with? I'm gonna talk to him, maybe, I hope he at least says hi, it'd make me at least think that he isn't avoiding me. Maybe he and Hannah have finally gotten into a relationship. I don't know, it's hard to pin down. And I speculate without even talking to him, how wrong is this. I'm gone...that's it. Double tomorrow and I'm good, perfect even.
Signing off--Lauren
(ps, he just said hi)
