late nights and loud fights
it's all just a blur

6:51 p.m. | 2003-07-18
Um, we rode in a limo today...

Yes, that is right, it is almost 7, and I am writing. And no, I did sleep last night. I've turned back into her, though. Back into the me I was before I stared whoring around and stuff with Gabe. I don't like this her. We're going to a movie...at 7:45. I want to go out late, and be a child of the night and lay there with his skin against mine, and have him breath and move and sweat right next to me. Damn it. No fair, I wanna get some :( That's ok though, I'll deal, maybe. I have tomorrow's evening shift, so I better not get pushed off of it, or told to leave early damn it, it's a weekend, I want to work. But, I did tell Gabe that I should take him to Macaroni Grill, and he's all, sweet! And it wasn't in the way that I offered dinner last time, I told him about the real italian food and how I had a discount...and...you know, he likes another girl because she doesn't have to spend money, or rather just because she's broke. Think it bothers him that I'm willing to? I think I like money, is that so negative? I mean, I enjoy going out and eating at Big City, just as much as I enjoy eating at a fancy restaurant. Should that judge what you think of a person? I want to sit down and talk with him, feels like a Gabe moment to me and all...Like I've been deprived, anyway, I'll write later, I'm sure...

Signing Off--Lauren

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