11:36 p.m. | 2003-07-04
4th of July makes life fun
Just under the wire, it's almost July 5th, but I thought I'd put a little something in here. Today, being a special holiday or something, I felt myself in a familiar mood. It's a kind of feeling where you just want to call a friend or group of them especially and hang out, but for some reason you can't, or not that they're all busy, but it'd be inappropriate. So I didn't. I washed cars. And as I was doing this I got a shock, Amanda from next door kinda came up behind me and scared the CRAP out of me. But she invited me to their shindig this afternoon. So I finished the cars, helped them fill a pool, and then took a shower so I could head over there.
I got into this other person again, I started drinking. 4 beers, 2 hard lemonades, 2 wine coolers, and about 9 shots of rum in a rum and coke later, woo hoo, Lauren's a bit dizzy. And the people there are ALL 22+ and it's just, I don't know, they were completely shocked to learn I was 17, I mean, a minor?! So there was some shock value, but they were pretty cool. Normally I'd lie, say no, I'm 20, or something, but they're my next door neighbors, so I couldn't.
So now I'm feeling a bit, I don't know, I mean I'm getting better, but it's just like, now I sit here and think about what I did, and I didn't do anything against my standards or anything. But I don't like feeling like I need to drink, or need to be included, or, yeah. But I got home and there was a message on my phone, it was Nicole, who was like, you should soooo come hang at my house for the fireworks and stuff. And it was after the city fireworks, and she called at like noon, I could have gone to her house, and been a good girl, and not gotten drunk, and been with friends. I mean this was fun, what I did was nice, but I almost feel bad. I don't know, I don't ever regret things so I'm not sure what I would have rather done, but yeah. I don't know, to be decided later, but two minutes before the end of the hour, I'm gonna be done. So, yeah, we'll delve into these major problems later...
Signing off�Lauren
